Little Girl, Huge Anxiety
Little H has been going through some stuff lately. It started back in December, and I just blamed the excitement over the holidays. I incorrectly thought she would go back to normal after Christmas. She is having a hard time going to bed without sobbing over something every night. Plus, she cries any time we are separated for some reason. She goes to preschool, she cries. I go to a church meeting, she cries. I go downstairs to work in my dungeon when Dan gets home, she cries. And it's not just when I leave or she goes to bed. No, she will start crying spontaneously over the most ridiculous things. Here's how one of our conversations went the other day:
Little H: Mom, I have a secret.
Me: What is it, hon?
Little H (tears welling up in her eyes): You know how sometimes people tease me about having a crush on Justin Bieber?
Me: Sure.
Little H (tears streaming down her face): I think I really do. And I just want to cry about it.
Me: Okay, that's fine. Why does it make you cry?
Little H (sobbing at this point): Because I kept it a secret, and I didn't tell you right away.
But it's not just Bieber who has her crying. Oh no, she is crying over crushes on her preschool teacher's son, two kids in her preschool class, her cousin's cousin (no blood relation), some kids she saw in church, and her uncle (definitely a blood relation) to name a few. It's so weird. Plus she's always needing reassurances that we won't be the victims of a tornado or volcano. Thank goodness she hasn't learned about earthquakes, yet. She couldn't sleep one night last week because she overheard a conversation between Dan and I about a cousin of mine who was in the hospital. I have always tried to be open and honest with her when she has questions, but lately I feel like I want to lie to her if the truth doesn't paint the world in rainbows and sunshine. Somehow my baby girl has taken on the weight of the world, and I don't know exactly how to lift it off her shoulders. I hate thinking there is something I should have done to prevent it. I've even wondered if a pediatric therapist might help. One day at a time, though, right?
I wish I would have read this before I challenged her on Dance Central to a Justin Beiber song. Now I understand her reaction.
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I've found that sometimes to understand one of my children, and even to feel what they are feeling, the task is as simple as looking into a mirror.
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I know, I blame Dan, too.
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