Toby, one of my all-time favorite people, finally married his long-time girlfriend Brandi last weekend.  I worked with Toby when we lived in Portland.  At the time, I was a Service Manager, and he was my Lead Teller at a small branch on Jantzen Beach.  Now, five years later, he's a Service Manager at a much, much larger branch in Portland, probably one of the youngest managers around, too, I'd bet.  (I'm sure if you asked him he'd tell you he learned everything he knows from me, but you don't need to ask him.  Just take my word for it.)  He and Brandi started dating about five months before we moved back to Utah.

Dan and I were able to go up and see them tie the knot, thanks to some free airline vouchers Dan got by being bumped on his last business trip, and some free room and board courtesy of his parents.  It was a really beautiful ceremony.  This was only the second non-LDS wedding I've been to, and it's the closest to a movie wedding I've ever witnessed.  Toby looked so sweet, and Brandi looked beautiful in her heirloom wedding dress.  My favorite part of the wedding, however, was the older black woman who sat behind me and narrated the entire thing.

"Oh, that's my boy", "I just love Toby", "She looks gorgeous", "That's my boy", "He's so sweet", "That's his mother", "That must be his younger brother", "Look at those girls", REPEAT. 

She was so funny.  Then, when the minister started asking a string of questions such as "will you always cherish her?" and "will you appreciate everything she is?", the woman behind me kept answering, "he does, oh he does."  I'm going to have to remember to ask Toby who she was when he gets back from his honeymoon.  Maybe an ex-girlfriend?

After the ceremony, we followed the rest of the guests into the dining hall for dinner.  The servers started bringing around hors devours so we could mingle before the meal.  The first one Dan took from the tray was a suspicious looking pastry.  He made some offhand joke about it probably containing shrimp (which he is violently allergic to) before taking a bite. 

The next thing I know, he's spitting it out into his napkin, and not very discreetly.  I quickly glanced around hoping no one saw, thinking he just didn't like what he had tasted.  When I turned back to Dan, I realized it must be more serious because his face was bright red and his eyes were watering.  I led him outside where he told me the appetizer he'd bitten into did indeed have shrimp in it.  Not only did it make his tongue immediately tingle, but he was dry heaving for quite a while.

Now, I've known Dan to be a bit of a drama queen at times, but I'm pretty sure this was not acting.  Nevertheless, I couldn't stop laughing hysterically all the way back to the car.  Dan didn't find it as funny, but I assured him it was—he just had the wrong perspective.

So, Toby, if you're reading this, I'm sorry we weren't able to stay for dinner.  Congratulations on the nuptials, have fun on your honeymoon, and be sure to share the pictures once you get them (from the wedding not the honeymoon, you sickos).